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Matthew and I recently found out that we will be moving to Texas. This has been a very hard pill for me to swallow. I do not want to leave my home. I have never lived in a house as long as I have lived here in this home. I have brought three of my babies to this home after their arrival into this beautiful world. I live next door to my mom, both of us on three quarters of the block. We call it our little corner of the world. I love that I can watch my kids walk all the way to school because its just across the street. I feel safe and happy here! My husband needs a better job though. His job here is good for now but when babies become teenagers it wont be enough. I would love to help to bring in more income but our promise to never not have mommy at home prevents that. So we move. I have been searching for an understanding to all of this because the other promise Matthew and I made for ourselves was to never move for money, leaving family behind.
This Sunday I was sitting in church and while the sacrament was being passed I asked Heavenly Father why I was being sent somewhere I didn't want to be and if he would help me to understand his plan. I sat through the next speaker listening to his words. I have never said a prayer and expected an instant answer but I have also never said a prayer and waited for the answer. I was waiting this time, hoping I might find comfort in his words and plan for me and my family. As the next speaker began to talk.....I felt the spirit rush over me. The speaker was talking about Temples.. completely clear I heard the Holy Ghost tell me "That is why...Laura... you must leave and make more money so that you and Matthew can pay your tithing...become worthy Laura...so that you may seal your family in the temple and be sealed to the man you love for all time and eternity." I felt the warmth of the spirit and I felt what I heard was true...and I felt I understood God's plan for me.Then again it spoke "Laura... I can only give you the means to serve me...I cannot make you do it..it is up to you to make the choice and to make this happen...I love you and I want this for you...you are my daughter" I sat there and began to cry hoping no one noticed because the speakers wasn't saying anything too moving. Matthew and I have never made enough to pay our tithing. I know that we should pay it anyway and he will provide the way for us. I just couldn't allow Matthew to pay a tithing and then ask the church to pay another of our bills we couldn't pay, even if that is how the church would prefer it. Because of this Matthew and I have never been worthy to go to the Temple. I know my Heavenly Fathers plan, and I am so thankful that I can feel his love and know that what I am doing is the right thing. This is a blessing... for me... so that I might be sealed to my family and my husband.Finally there is light at the end of my dark tunnel.